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18th-Nov-2009 10:27 pm - Sad Sad Sad...



Maybe it is my fault after all of not having to grasp the friendships I have,
I wonder if everything will be okay if I was not like what I am now,

It is really such a sad fucking moment for me,
Woke up at night and slept in the morning,
No I not blaming my sleeping habit,
I am blaming myself who has few friends,

Imagine,
You woke up at 7:30PM,
Ate mom's cooking and then saw your friend messaged you on MSN Messenger,

She asked about coming out have a drink at night,
Then I looked at the clock,
It was 7:58PM,
So I replied her stuffs and asked where she wanted to go have a drink and what time and with who,
But seriously,
Do we have loads of yamcha friends?
In my mind,
I only have 3,
Which all turned out to be pointless,

It is really sad,
To only have a friend,
And with only 2 of us,
We cannot stay out long,
Because we do not have much topic to gossip or discuss,

When she sms'd me that she cannot use the comp because her sis was conquering it,
Never mind,
I sms'd her and in the end,
We did not go out,
I sms'd her a finaly message,
"Okay then...Have a good night."

I almost cried,

I feel stupid,

It is a normal and small thing,
But it could upset me this much,
Luckily I did not cry,
If not,
I will look more dumber than I thought,

May be it is best to hold on your computer or laptop forever,
Friend is just your second choice,

I hate this,
And I know you do too if it happens on you,

There is nothing left for me in Malaysia,
May be I shall go explore the world someday.




KAT-TUN Calendar 2009.04 - 2010.03

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Aaa...
Wednesday Special arrives,
Today's topic is:
 
 
 
The World Is Spinning and So I Am
 
 
 
 
Easy to be understood is it not?
When the worild is spinning that also mean the world is getting some changes,
Even human,
Flora and fauna,
The sea, land and mountain,
The sky, air, water, earth,
Everything...
 
Firstly,
I have to mumble about myself,
I am getting old....
Uwaahahaa~
I am still single,
I am still plum and have an average body,
I am still not pretty,
I am still lacking of something,
I am still studying,
I am still having less friends,
I am still who and what I was years ago.
 
What the meaning of;
'I have changed' ?
To be really frank,
I fucking hate those people who said that.
 
Example is here,
Firstly,
Remember I am very honest,
The name is ... I forgot but something with K and Wai,
A chinese student whom I knew when I was Form 3,
In 3 Ikhlas,
Fuck that name,
Everyone is shithead in that stupid class,
This K.Wai guy was a band player, he played the huge drum which made him look far more idiot than I know,
He practiced piano and he was very tall plus LONG,
LONG legs, arms, body and I do not about his dick, should be short perhaps.
 
He once talked to me when I finally reached Form 4,
4 Ceria, was not a superior class or a hippy-yappy class,
Fuck that name again,
He commented that I have changed,
He said changed by means my personalities, attitudes and actions,
Hell you, Asshat,
Like you really do know me,
Fuck that,
Even I also do not know all of myself,
 
Second case,
This is the most recent,
Before that I have to tell about my history again,
Patience,
I was not a damn good student and was rebellious,
This happened when I was in Form 3 - 4 period,
Yes, I mixed with gangsters who were all assholes and brainless by calling them fucking selves 'Gangsters',
Laugh my ass off.
Fearing policemen and doing illegal stuffs like sucking drugs, selling illegal CDs & DVDs and eceteras,
I bet they are still the same,
There was an Indian guy who speaks Chinese, Malay & English,
Titled as a SMART ASS,
Well he was nice and treated me well,
I was a NOT talkative person and a silencer or a gril at the corner type,
No bodies pay any attentions to me at all,
Do not say about having a bastard jerk ex-bf,
*Pukes* *Spits*
This Indian he once confessed to me but of course I rejected,
If we were to be couple,
The Sea will be the Land, The Land will be the Sea,
I cannot take that risk to date a Malaysian Black Man,
Plus I do not like him at all, just a normal fucking gangster as a friend...
Please know your position first before speaking huh?
Yes, I was a fucking silly teenager.
I cut off the relatonship or friendship or gangstership with these people very soon in the end of 2005,
 
Now, 2008,
Bless me huh?
That idiot Indian sms'ed me and asking for a tea with me,
I am not like SOMEONE ELSE who can straight go out and take the invitation form any guys,
Silly,
Fucking Silly,
This Idian wanted to meet me and he wanted to court me AGAIN?
Scam Off,
Dirty old man,
He then asked;
"You are not that cruel, aren't you?"
 
HELL YES I AM, FUCK OFF,
He said I have changed just because I frankly rejected his offer,
HA.HA.HA.HA.HA.
SAME, same type of idiot,
LIKE HELL HE KNOWS ME,
I do not know him at all,
Other than his spoken languages or name,
FUCKING DICKHEAD.
 
I am pissed,
Damn pissed!
 
World is definitely upgrading,
I am upgrading NOT changing.
Can the World change its shape?
HELL NO.
Can I change my gender then?
NO. FUCKING NO!
 
People are improving  not changing!
 
Lately I feel that I do not know more,
About friends, family and stuffs,
What is right or wrong,
I am already confused,
I become very ego-ish, emotional and unfriendly and impudent,
I do not know how to communicate and being friendly anymore,
Maybe I did really 'changed'?
Downgraded?
I do not know how to face the people and the World,
I am becoming a coward and afraid of being with people,
Because I do not how to live properly with them,
Not that I fear them,
 
I can feel the friends around me are disappearing,
Not that I care much,
What I care most is my pride and existance,
I hate it when I asked people to hang out and they said they were busy,
Well time when I was busy I also did shown up,
Having relatives or family dinner is okay,
Having exam is okay,
Planning to be with bf also okay,
But when I found out all of those are lies to not coming out,
While they were actually wondering outside with others and I knew it,
Then I will say I hate it. Very. Much.
Just say you do not wish to hang out with me then I will never disturb you again,
Just like I dislike to force myself to mix with other people,
I would not pretend like I am a know-all-people or a mixable type,
 
I am very rude to people until I could not control it and evey time I just blow off everything,
I am cold huh? Cruel huh? Selfish huh?
 
The weather is changing,
Rain keep falling and it seems sad,
Neverending sadness,
People are dying in every country or place,
There are newborn babies at the same time too,
Mourning, Celebrating,
Crying, Laughing,
 
This is what?
Life-cycle?
Yea, I bet I can call it by that,
 
What bring me happiness now is money, KAT-TUN and what?
With money I can eat every japanese fine dining restaurant,
I can buy many things for myself and family,
I can even travel and visit any places,
I can build homes for the homeless people,
I can buy KAT-TUN stuffs,
I can live my life to its fullness,
 
Seems like I am getting more materialistic,
Maa...
People get to become like that when they are drowning in thoughts,
Maybe I am just a lonely person,
I prefer writing than chattering sometimes,
I can keep saying 'fucking fuck bastards asshats' every time I want to.
I can even say BU-SH is a fucking nice person,
He took all the blame because he did all the bad stuffs which people hope to get it done but doesn't wish to do it themselves,
I can also comment that Mareshia is a fucking islamic country,
Giving those useless special treatments which wastes citizens' money continuously to the fucking jerks and bitches,
 
Need to go off now,
I got far off from the topic again...
Anyhow,
These, what I wrote are all bullshits,
No offend.
 
Ijyou..
Gyaru Junnosuke
Hai hai~~
Today is Wednesday, 3rd Sep 2008,
But I have yet to write about my sister's graduation ceremony,
So I will take some of today's time to write about it,
 
Firstly I will attach some pictures of my sister, her friends, my family and others...
 
 
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 
Here look at the gifts which were ready for my oneechan,
 
IMG_4278
(Luffy
from One Piece)
 
Yes this Luffy doll was prepared by KY-san, SY-san and another unknown friend of my oneechan.
 
IMG_4283
 (San Kyoudai Kame,
3 Brother Turtles from different brands)
 
Ahahahaaa, this 3 soft dolls Turtle was D.I.Y. by me,
Yes my oneechan loves Kamenashi Kazuya~
I went to searched tfor the turtles and attached these 3 turtles into one,
Kawaii darou?
Hehehee..
 
IMG_4285
(A bouquet of flowers Lilies, Lavendars, various flowers and a Teddy Bear)
 
This was bought by me, KY-san and SY-san,
By using my parent's money,
Hahaha~
So, we assumed it is prepared by my parents.
 
 
We arrived early at the Wisma MCA there,
Parked the car,
Went upstairs and waited for the convo to come to its end,
Actually it is not early for us,
We still managed to have breakfast before arriving at Wisma MCA,
Many people like families or graduatees arrived before 7:30 a.m., including my mom and dad..
 
Me, KY-san and SY-san arrived only at 11:00-11:30 noon.
Hahaha...
Then luckily we did not wait long and the convo ends in around ten-twenty minutes..
 
This is my photo:
 
IMG_4281
(Holidng the special gifts~)
 
Then, our camerawoman, KY-san
Went to help my oneechan take photoshots and here it is:
 
IMG_4303
(Just the half of the Phsycology Students)
 
IMG_4306
(THROW THE HATS)
 
IMG_4310
(From the left, Yuki, Oto, Onee and Oka)
 
IMG_4311
(From the left, SY-san, Onee and KY-san)
 
IMG_4312
(From the left, Yuki, SY-san, Onee and KY-san)
 
IMG_4314
(Oneechan to atashi)
 
IMG_4323
(Oneechan to tomodachi tachi)
 
IMG_4326
(The Seven Unpopular But Well-Known Gals to Every Phsycology Student)
 
IMG_4358
(Taken in my house, Yuki, Riki-chan and Onee-chan)
 
 
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Aaa...
From all the photos above,
You will notice there is no other man in the photos, excluding the male graduatees,
There are 5 members in me family,
Otousan, Okaasan, Oneesan, Me, and lastly my-so-called Oniisan
 
Anyway,
Let him be, he did not care to even attend and visit my oneechan no graduation,
He just wear the name as 'my oniisan', nothing more than that...
 
Done for 30th Aug 2008 diary,
 
Ufufufufufuuu~
 
Mata ne~
 
 
KAT-TUN Calendar 2009.04 - 2010.03
19th-Aug-2008 01:12 am - Farewell day and night with Joanne
*Sobs*
Ou little Joanne finally have became grown upper...
 
Hahahahaa~
She already departed to Iowa, today, on Sunday's night,
I wish her all the best and get a good looking foreigner when she comes home in the future~
Uwaahahaha~
 
 
Friday,
15th August 2008, Morning
10:00-11:15 a.m.
College
 
I was at college,
Then I decided to skip my friend's birthday party,
I already promised them that I will attend but instead I went to hang out with my other friends,
I hope they understand and won't get mad at me for my broken promise,
 
 
Friday,
15th August 2008, Afternoon
14:00 p.m.
Sunway Pyramid
 
Finally, Mz-san arrived at K.J. train station and she fetched me to Sunway Pyramid,
Meet up with Joanne and just the three of us,
Planned to have buffet at Sakae Sushi Restaurant,
It's very cheap, RM24.90 for students,
Even though we can only eat pink and gree plates sushi,
Under RM1.90 and RM3.90 stuffs included,
Excluded Miso, Occha and others,
 
DSC01748
DSC01750
DSC01752
DSC01753
DSC01751
DSC01749
DSC01754DSC01755jo me mz
 
Firstly,
We accompanied Joanne to a shop which sells cheong sam,
She will be having a Cultural/Culture Night at her campus at Iowa,
So she needs it...
She tries on few cheong sam and found one black cheong sam which is most suitable for her,
The problem is the price is around RM139.90, less 10% which means around RM124...is it?
Nvm that,
 
Luckily when she was trying on the clothes, I was browsing 50% off clothes,
You know, for me,
If I saw 50% discount of course I will be attracted,
Yes I found two cheong sams which are decent-look and cheap,
Then finally she made up her mind and bought the cheap but decent-look cheong sam,
I wish I can have one too...
 
Then went back to the Sakae and ordered for buffet,
We ate alot and damn full...
Then at the very same date, it was Asia Skate Competition,
Yes, we took a view and then straight away went home,
Yet,
We will be going out at night also,
We decided to go for clubbing or to pub,
 
 
Friday,
15th August 2008, Night
22:30 p.m.
Scarlet
 
We have always longed for this kind of experience,
I don't care what the fuck the other people say,
Going clubbing or pub doesn't mean anything,
Whether you're,
Rich or not
Young or not
Good student or not
Beautiful ot not
It is definitely normal for people to go this kind of place,
I hate people who says:
 
"I'm a good child, I don't go such place,"
 
My comment: "Fuck off"
 
"What? You going to XXX pub/club??? Don't go there, not nice one!"
 
My comment: "MCB, GO DIE"
 
Depends on you whether you want to stay as a little mommy or daddy child,
or you want to become a smoker, rubbish, bastard, SH, cheapster(Cheap People) or whatever
 
It's your life and it's on your hand,
You're the one who decides who should you become,
SO mind your own business shitty people...
 
Get into the real story,
 
Then,
 
Mz-san drives again,
She brought along her cousin sister and her cousin sister's friend,
Both of them are form 5 students I guess,
We, Mz-san, Joanne, Marv, Marv's friend and lastly me,
5 persons headed to Scarlet at Cineleisure, Damansara
 
The atmosphere was dull in the beginning because none of us start to get high,
Thus, Marv and her friend left when we just came around 30 minutes,
I don't care where they went but at least don't cause us any troubles mean okay already,
 
Left the three of us, two 19 and an 18,
Hahahaha~~
 
3 beauties in scarletme jo mz in scarlet
 
We ordered cocktails and magaritas at the beginning before Marv and her friend left,
Honestly I don't quite like to drink alcohol drinks but if it's sweet then I'd love it,
I dislike how the Tequila tastes like...
I don't know why but my body seems to refuse and despise it,
I even threw up and vomited before because of Tequila,
So I didn't drink up my magarita,
Joanne did...
 
Hahahahaaa~ I lost to 18 years old Joanne,
I just danced with Mz-san and Joanne,
I admited that I would love to go to clubbing just because I wanted to dance like crazy woman,
I love dancing even though I can't break dancing or street dancing,
 
 me n jome n jo2
 
Really,
We had fun,
If the other two didn't have fun,
Then, it'll be only me who had fun,
 
Joanne was amazing because she attracted 4 guys to came and flirted her,
Of course Joanne is not a slut but she is quite a catch though..
She's cute, and good in her academic,
While me and Mz-san, didn't get any fishes hahaha~~
Some guy was trying to hug or touch my waist while I was dancing like a hottie with Mz-san,
I refused of course,
It was funny,
Imagine,
That guy was putting his arm across my waist and my hand was pushing his arm away,
Wahahaha~
Even just a few seconds,
I felt proud of myself because I ain't a cheap slut who willing to dance with or being touch by anybody,
 
 me n mz
me
 
Soon, the clock pointed at 2:30 a.m., midnight,
Time to go home babes,
Scarlet closes at 3:00 a.m.,
Then Mz-san called back her cousin sister and the friend,
And went home...
 
I slept at 3:30 or 4:00 a.m. I guess,
Saturday,
We will go to the Apartment Restaurant at the Curve,
 
 
Saturday,
16th August 2008, Morning
10:15 a.m.
The Curve
 
Yes, this was the final day to say goodbye to Joanne,
We, Mz-san, Joanne, Pikachu-san, V-san, Teng Li-san and me,
 
5 beauties
6 beauties
 
Went together to have lunch at the Apartment Restaurant,
The pricing is kinda expensive but the meals were yummy and I like it,
 
DSC01796DSC01799
DSC01800DSC01803
 
After that, we went into some electronic or technology store,
I bought a headphone,
Joanne bought a mouse,
 
Went to Tesco,
Joanne bought something and I don't know what is it...
In the end,
Mz-san fetched us all home...
 
And bid farewell to Joanne.......
 
 
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
 
We had good time together,
I'm not so sure about this though,
But I was kinda happy with the time, moments, days, nights, hours, minutes, seconds we spent together,
 
I'm a cold and boring person,
I don't know how to make people happy or being happy wth me,
I'm not a good friend nor a good listener,
I don't know how to help people or get along wth people,
I'm not a smart student nor an intellect person,
 
I only wish to live happily and freely with everyone,
This is so chlidish of me,
But being childish sort me out many troubles and barriers,
 
I love seeing Junnosuke and whenever he's happy or smilling or laughing or playing or singing or dancing or whatever he does,
It makes my days and nights,
I'm always happy and stressless because of him,
Only a smile of him,
Would make my mouth curve up...
 
My wishes for every celebration is that,
 
'Everyone will be forever happy no matter what happens'
 
We do feel upset and down sometime,
But that doesn't mean you won't be happy again,
That is why,
Whenever there is sadness, there'll be happines,
 
Laugh more,
Cry more,
See more,
Touch more,
Know more,
Experience more,
 
That is how you enjoy your life more,
 
..
.
 
Ijou
KAT-TUN Calendar 2009.04 - 2010.03

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9th-Aug-2008 06:09 pm - I came back from Langkawi trip
I'm home from a trip~
Even though it was planned on going to Thailand, Phuket but..
In the last minute...really last minute...it changed to Malaysia, Langkawi...
I stay in Malaysia lol well, it was okay for the overall trip in Langkawi,
as long as everyone have fun and happy together in this trip,
And yes we all did...

The first Phuket trip was cancelled due to the Malaysia Gov.
They gave us reasons which indicates that we are student and it is dangerous for us to go Thailand this moment because of the safety in Thailand is not good and estimate a month or two, there has a bombing attack and fear us, the students might be the targets...

I still don't know the real real real or the truth truth truth coz' what I stated above have no evidence and was told by my lecturer,

Skip that~
Let's view my pictures and here we go~~

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Yuki:



"Like the mountains, tall and strong and lovely"
"Like the eagles, we fly together toward the sky"
"Like the river, time flows swifly and quietly"
"Like the wind, wondering when would we meet again"




(This is my fav pic XD)


(This is taken when I was on the top of the hill with friends)


(Left: Me and Rachel)


(Left: My friend, Rachel and I)


(Here where we were on the beach, omg I look fat)


(Riding on a banana boat)


(In the train with Yeet Mei-chan and the shadow on the window is Han Yi-kun)


(With friends on the hill's bridge)


(On the hill's bridge, with some of the friends in R1 class)

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Hehe~
I just put few photos,
Since there are too many photos to be uploaded here...

Saa,
Let me tell you some of my experiences,

Honestly,
It was around or more than 48 people together in this trip,
All are my coursemates,
We aren't close at all from the first year until the second year's first semester...
Now, we are still in second year' first semester but already a half semester left for this first semester,

After the trip, not all but mostly of us got to known each other and 
well...got closer a bit...haha~

At the very same time,
I fall into some one...again...
I don't know what will happen next...
Still I'm loyal and only to Junnosuke-chama

Time really flies like the waterfall
So I cannot write everything in here even though my mind still have the fresh memories of the trip
What I can say is that,
I had fun,
I was happy in the trip and still is after the trip end...


Ja...

Ijyou~

KAT-TUN Calendar 2009.04 - 2010.03
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